Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
