After last night, I could never be a politician.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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