I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
