If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
