I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
