There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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