I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
