real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
