he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize