Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
