Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(806): View more from Texas

and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.

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(239): View more from Florida

"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.

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(812): View more from Indiana

They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

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(818): View more from California

Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.

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(517): View more from Michigan

He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"

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