so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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