Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
