ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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