a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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