he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
