I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
