boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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