He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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