There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
