He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
