Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize