That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
