I wanna bring you to show and tell
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
