I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
