I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize