Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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