we have officially lost it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
