There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
