if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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