The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Damn victory sex feels great
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