I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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