just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
