so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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