your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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