Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize