Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
