I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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