He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
