And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I have demons in me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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