Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
