I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
time to smoke my breakfast
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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