So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
