Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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