A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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