Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
