i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
