Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
