U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
