I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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