There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
