Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
