have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize