so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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