Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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