me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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