No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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