Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
