Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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