I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The feeling are messing with the penis
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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