And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
